Thursday!

I am so glad today is Thursday! I'm enjoying life so much right now, I can't even believe how happy I am. Last weekend was one of the most fun I have had in forever and this weekend is shaping up to be just as enjoyable! I think I might end up trying to canoe or kayak, maybe some bowling, a softball game and who knows what else!

I am so glad the weather is starting to warm up. It's wonderful! I need to go shopping though to buy some new summer clothes to fit my new body! I'm still working out and eating healthy, the journey continues...

I'm loving life!

Sunday

This past Sunday was truly a special day. I have never experienced God in such a real, loving way as I did. I have never heard him so loud and clear in his love for me. I have been extremely sad about having to leave my church of 20 years. The past two Sundays I have attended a different church and it has been extremely hard for me because I am missing my home church and it breaks my heart. However the saying that when God closes a door He opens a window has never felt more real to me after Sunday.

During the praise and worship portion of the sermon I was focusing so much on the negative that this church wasn’t BBC and I was being consumed with hurt and anger. I was tearing up and feeling sorry for myself when out of nowhere the pastor jumped on the stage and started talking. He said that God had been laying something on his heart and he just had to get it out there. He said there was a girl in the congregation, he didn’t know who it was, but that her heart was breaking and she was so sad. He said he didn’t know why she was so heartbroken, whether it be from a marriage or relationship ending to something else, but that she needed love and prayer from the congregation. It was like a lightning bolt shooting straight through me. God used this pastor to speak directly to me, to tell me that I wasn’t alone and that He loved me. I know He was talking to me. He wanted me to know that He was there, that He felt my pain and that He wanted me to feel His love surrounding me. I feel like He was telling me I was in the right place. I have never experienced God this powerfully, it was awesome!

Halway There!

I hate to wish my life away but I am so looking forward to the weekend! Even if there isn't anything exciting planned I still get pumped up for Friday afternoon when I get to go home and relax. This weekend however there is a bit of fun planned! I think my mom and I are going to grab some Mexican food (yummmmmm) and then head up to the casino for a bit. I hope my dad is able to come to, I feel like I never see him cause he is so busy with work!

I got sucked into a Sex in the City marathon on TV last night. Even though I've seen every single episode (and the content is questionable at best) I still watched like it was the first time I'd ever seen it, crying when poor Charlotte found out she couldn't have a baby and being happy that Miranda didn't go through with the abortion. Yeah, I have serious issues with overly caring about fictional characters.

I recently started reading Gone Girl and so far it is ok. I've read reviews saying that it is impossible to put down but thus far I haven't gotten to that point yet. I am interested though so it's not a bust, just not a stay up till 4 in the morning type book...at least not yet. Maybe once I get further into it I will become as obsessed as everyone else was.

I bought two pounds of strawberries today. Two pounds! And I don't even like strawberries that much! However, berries are supposed to be excellent for you so I figure that four or five strawberries for a morning or afternoon snack would be a good choice, probably better than chips or chocolate which is what I usually crave (but I resist, promise!). Tomorrow I need to go to Trader Joe's and pick up some more peanut butter. That's probably the only thing I splurge on as far as not bargain shopping but the peanut butter I buy is worth every penny! Try it. No seriously, you should.

Typical Tuesday!

I tried a new church this week, as much as it pains me to have to leave my church of over 20 years it has become an unfortunate necessity. Even though I have spent time upset and distraught over this decision I am trying to look at the positive and see the new doors that God can open up for me. My previous church had a very small number of people in my age group, but the church I went to Sunday was full of young people! I am trying to look at things in a flattering light and see this as an opportunity, as well as trying to get excited about it, trying being the key word. I'm not always the best at pulling myself out of funks but I think once I start going regularly I will be able to see God's hand in this whole process.

I am still waiting to hear if I got the job I interviewed for a month ago. I don't believe I got it which is sad to me because I got my hopes up. I tried so hard to tell myself not to get too caught up in the idea that the job was mine and in the end I didn't do so well. Mom keeps trying to remind me that all things happen in God's time and surely there is something better up ahead. I know she's right, I'm just impatient! I guess this is God's way of giving me practice at waiting on His timing instead of my own.

I am continuing on my weight loss journey and it feels so great. It's still hard and I don't always enjoy the working out but in the end I feel amazing and it is so worth it. I've been experimenting with quinoa and trying all sorts of different soy yogurts (the silk kind is super yummy and has 6 grams of protein!) as well as trying veggie burgers from different brands. I bought some tofu noodles that I am excited to try tonight. They are basically tofu in the shape of spaghetti. We shall see how that goes... My favorite recipe right now is super easy and it can feed me three times! Just in case anyone out there wants to give it a try I shall share it with you:

2 Tofurkey Italian Sausages
1 Bag Steamable Brown Rice (plain or with vegetables, just no added sauces)
I Bag of Krogers Frozen 3 Pepper and Onion Blend
1-2 Tablespoons of Newmans Own Lite Honey Mustard Dressing

I start by throwing the rice in the microwave while I warm up the peppers and onions in a skillet. While they are cooking I cut the sausages in half and then into smaller pieces so that it can cook faster and all the pieces get warm all the way through. After the sausages are chopped I add them to the skillet and increase the heat to medium-high (ish) then put in the rice. After everything is heated through I section it out into 3 equal portions, refrigerate two of them and then add my dressing to the one I'm eating.

It's so good! And easy. And if you buy the Tofurkey Sausages from Trader Joe's they are significantly cheaper than if you buy them at Kroger...just saying.

I am in the process of trying to adopt a pug from a rescue group. There is one in particular that I have fallen in love with. Her name is Frankie and she is fat and adorable. The application process is very thorough, I had to have personal references, vet references, fill out a lengthy application and I have to have a home visit! They want to make super sure that I'm good to fur babies. We will see how it goes, I'm going to have to start really saving if I'm going to be able to afford the adoption fee, but it will be worth it when I get my little fat pug baby! My current fat pug baby needs a buddy :)

Sunday's Sermon

This past Sunday my Pastor preached a wonderful sermon. This is my summary of what I learned from it J

Faithful Hearts-

Matthew 5:27-30

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

This Sunday our sermon was about temptation. Pastor Kevin started with this verse from Jesus and pointed out that God is not merely concerned with the faithfulness or our bodies but also with the faithfulness of our hearts. If we think lustful thoughts we are guilty of adultery, if we hate others we are guilty of murder. God is not concerned with whether the act is followed through on; He is concerned with our hearts.

We focused on lust for a portion of this sermon and it is important to define lust. In a loose definition “lust is not a passing glance, but is a willful stare that creates arousal.” There is a difference between lust and attraction. Attraction to others is natural, however lust is a sin. Lust happens when you begin to see someone as an object rather than a person.

Lust is a selfish act. It is seeing others as a mean for our own pleasure; it is using someone and dehumanizing them, not seeing them for the creation of God that they are. Habitual lust gradually destroys our ability to love because it is training us to be selfish. Love is a selfless act, therefore the more we lust the more we are conditioned to do the opposite of love. Even within marriage lust is not normal, healthy or good. When you lust after your spouse you are seeing them as an object whose purpose is for your pleasure, not in a loving self-sacrificing way. Love serves, lust uses.

Our culture is saturated with lust. It is constantly perpetuated by television shows, movies and music that teach us that lust is natural. Lust is a distortion of sexuality, not a normal part of it. How are we to deal with this when it surrounds us? We must run from the temptations shown through pop culture and do as Jesus commands by taking sin seriously and doing whatever it takes to stay away from it.

Jesus takes sin so seriously that he tells us to cut off a hand if it causes us to sin. While we do not take this literally it is important to see what the meaning is behind it. Jesus is telling us that is would be better to go through life with only one hand than it is to sin and be cast into Hell. It is better to go through life with only one eye than it is to sin!

Romans 13:13-14

13 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. 14 Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh

We must not let ourselves indulge in thoughts that are sinful. If you spend your time consumed with thoughts of doing something sinful then you are far more likely to indulge in the actual action. For instance if you are so angry and you want to tell someone what you really think (in not kind words) and you spend your time thinking of all the things you wish you could say to them you are much more likely to actually tell the person off.

1 Corinthians 15:33

³³ Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

We as sinners often times walk right into temptation, we rarely “fall” into temptation. We often times willingly put ourselves in situations in which we are tempted to sin! If you know your friends are going to a movie that will have subject matter you disagree with don’t go. If you know that when you spend time with certain friends you are more likely to drink avoid situations with them in which drinking is a possibility. Often times you may need to reconsider hanging out with these types of people recreationally at all.

God always provides a way out of our temptation; however our problem as sinners is that we often ignore the exit sign. If you were in a fire the first thing you would do would be to look for the illuminated EXIT to get out, why do we not take sin this seriously?! We have to be willing to do whatever it takes to defeat temptation and sin. We must be willing to stop doing the things that cause us to stumble, whether that be watching movies and TV shows with sinful content, reading books that are smut, hanging out with friends that, while fun, may lead us down paths we needn’t go.

Galatians 6:1-2

 6 Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. ² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

We must surround ourselves with other Christians we will support us and hold us accountable. It is important to be guided by someone who has love and respect for you who will gently remind you of God’s desire for your life and redirect you when you have gone off path.

Romans 6:1-2

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? ² By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

Do we love ourselves as much as Jesus loves us? He loved us enough to die! We must do whatever we have to do to keep ourselves from sinning because sin will destroy us! We must love ourselves enough to not ride down the road to Hell. God loved us enough to send His Son to us to give us redemption; we must not behave as though His love and sacrifice mean nothing to us. He cherishes us and loves us; we must see ourselves in this light. We are beloved children of His; we are not slaves to temptation.

Thursday!

I am so glad it is Thursday! I heard once that there was research done that people were actually happier on Thursdays than any other day of the week because it Friday is coming. Crazy! You'd think Friday would be the favorite day, but I guess anticipation of Friday can make someone pretty happy too.

I am officially down to 95 pounds lost from my heaviest. Only 5 pounds to go until I hit the big milestone! I have never felt better, this is by far the best shape I have ever been in and I am so happy! I'm struggling to find recipes and foods that I enjoy and are quick and healthy. I've been in a bit of a food rut because my time is so rushed when I get home and you aren't supposed to eat after 7. So I end up eating soup and veggie meatballs or tofurkey sausages with a bag of frozen peppers. I need to prepare my meals on Sunday and then just heat them up, but who wants to do that?!

I haven't been able to write as much because our Internet access is restricted more at work now and my nights are so crazy! It makes me sad, I love to be able to write down all my thoughts, but on the plus side there is more work to do so my days don't drag by quite as slowly.

I went to Nashville this past weekend for one of my bff's grandma's birthday party. I had a pretty good time. It's always nice to get away for a bit and not have to worry about any of the responsibilities of home. I look forward to going back soon, maybe this time I wont get sick and we will have more motivation to actually go do something. We were all INCREDIBLY lazy, as in naps in the middle of the day, bed by 10:30 lazy! It was also lovely to see Scott's family. They have always been so sweet and kind to me and they haven't seen me since I've lost all my weight so it was incredibly uplifting to see such positive reactions. And there was cake...yum!

The weather has been incredibly bipolar here lately. One day it's gorgeous outside, the next it's rainy and gross, then gorgeous again, then cold, then windy. Kentucky weather is crazy! On the plus side it keeps me on my toes about what to wear. It's getting to be that time for more shopping since summer is coming and all my old summer close are too big. Bummer...just kidding! I got a bathing suit the other day at Gabriel Brothers that I am dying to wear! It was over $100.00 in the original store it came from, I got it for $13! You just can't beat that!

Can I just talk for a second about how obsessed I am with food documentaries? It's kind of dorky but they are so interesting! Makes me really want to try even harder to do a plant based/whole foods diet. And shop locally. Farmers Market here I come! I wish I could plant my own garden, but let's be honest...Ain't nobody got time for that! :)

BEAUTIFUL!

It's halfway through the week! Yay! This weather is absolutely gorgeous, it makes it so hard to stay inside.  On the plus side though I only have to work a half day today because I have a doctor appointment. So at least I get to be out and about for a bit. I should have just taken the whole day, it would have been so nice to spend the day at Jacobson Park swinging on the playground while watching little kiddos run around.

I am excited about tonight. I am introducing a friend to BUTI tonight and I think she is going to love it. Last week so was much fun. It was exhausting and hard, but I thoroughly enjoyed it!

I am looking forward to this weekends so much. I took off Monday so it's a three day weekend which equals a four day work week and I get to visit with one of my bff's and his family. It will be nice to get out of Kentucky for a few days, go down to Music City and explore. I hope I get to hit up their discount book store and check out Urban Outfitters. And maybe a Coach outlet of course!

Sitting in my Doctors office right now and they have the most hideous mural on the wall. I know that sounds awful but it truly disturbs me! It's a bunch of women looking at their reflection in a mirror but there is one woman located directly in the middle and she is RED. Not a little red, I'm talking on fire, satan red. It makes no sense at all!

I am in the best mood today. This weather does wonders for everyone and a great night of sleep makes everything look better. I passed out so quickly after turning out the lights last night, it was bliss. Then I got to wake up (fairly) naturally this morning which is always bettter than having to hear the dreaded alarm go off.

I am missing my parents something awful! I hate that my dad has to work himself so hard! He loves it though so that is a real positive, and he does work harder than he probably has to, but that's why I respect him. He does everything he does 100%, he doesn't slack off at all.  If you are a gardener make sure you buy Bonnie Plants, and buy them from the Meijer, Walmart or Lowes in Lexington, Georgetown, Florence, or any of the providers in between Lex-Florence. Those are my Daddy's stores!

Finally Friday!

I am so glad it's Friday! The weekend is here and it is supposed to be BEAUTIFUL outside! I might go for a jog, have a picnic, sit outside and read a book, the possibilities are endless! I am also excited because a friend of mine and I are going out this evening. I get to dress nice and go out on the town and have a grand ol' time. Not sure what we are going to be doing just yet, but I'm looking forward to doing something new. I want to play some darts and maybe pool, it's been so long since I've been able to just hang out and do things like that.

I am excited to have my weigh in this tomorrow. I'm hoping to see some pounds lost, but I'll take inches too! I've been working so hard, I'm feeling so good about myself, I have more energy and I'm genuinely in a better mood. Still not getting the energy from the exercise but I sleep really well at night! 

I am missing my daddy. I feel like I haven't seen him in ages! He's so busy with his job that he doesn't ever get a chance to come home and visit. Hopefully one day he will be in Lexington around the time that I am taking lunch and we can visit for a little bit. That would be so nice!

I'm feeling extremely blessed for the friends that I have in my life right now. I used to be sad because I didn't have tons of friends, but now that I'm olde and more mature I am realizing that it's more about quality than quantity. I have some amazing people in my life, I count myself extremely lucky that I am able to have these people. I told Heather the other day that our friendship is proof that God loves us so much because friendships like ours don't come around very often. Keri and Scott are wonderful support systems for me and definitely know how to cheer me up, and I'm extremely happy to have them. I am so lucky to be able to spend so much time with Heather, working out and supporting one another, and it's wonderful for us to challenge one another. I can't even imagine my life without these people.

The Maze Runner

So the book I was in the process of reading earlier was short enough that I was able to finish it today. Let me just say this book was a waste of time. Honestly I didn't enjoy it in the least! It was incredibly confusing, left you with a cliff hanger and left me scratching my head wondering why I wasted (thankfully just a few) hours of my life. I was interested in finding out how the trilogy ended, but that was easily done by googling it and reading summaries on Wikipedia. If the summaries of the final two books are any indication of what thy are truly like then I am etremely glad I didn't waste my money or time on them! Supposedly there is talk of making the books into movies, however I can't imagine anyone enjoying these books enough to spend millions on transforming them into motion pictures. I literally hated this book that much. It was awful. I don't usually have such polar reactions to books, I usually love books or find them ok, I rarely HATE a book. But this one I definitely hated. Thankfully it was only 5 dollars, I might even take it back to Half Price Books and beg for my money back because I wasted my time! Ok, I'm only kidding about that, but I definitely will be selling it back to them, no use keeping something I didn't enjoy and will never read again!

Thoughtful Thursday

As I was driving to work today I realized how excited I am about the changing weather. That got me thinking about how God loves us. He knew that we needed seasons because we would get bored if there were no changes. How cool is that? I find myself getting excited for every new season and what it will bring!

I tried the BUTI class last night at my gym and I have to say I loved it! There were definitely some interesting moves but I was sweating by the end of class. It felt GOOD. Plus I managed to get home at a reasonable hour so I could read and watch a bit of TV. Tonight I have boot camp again and weightlifting, then I get to go home and sleep! I need a day to sleep in, that alarm in the morning is not my friend.

So far I'm halfway through The Maze Runner and I'm so confused. It keeps me wanting to read, but only because I'm totally lost and I want to find out what the heck is going on. I guess in some ways that is the trademark of a good writer, but usually I want to keep reading because I'm excited to find out what happens, not because I'm totally confused. Maybe it will pick up soon and give me some more clues about what's going on. After it I'm starting another book I've heard good things about, it's called The Forest of Hands and Teeth. This one definitely seems like something I haven't ever read before so it should be interesting to see how I like it.

I am dying to get in the floor and stretch my sore muscles out. It feels so good but I would say that is frowned upon at work. Instead I shall sit at my desk and do what little I can to loosen myself up. I need to start looking into yoga, I bet that would be an awesome way to stretch!

:)

It's a lovely Wednesday! The sun is shining, the weather is nice, we are halfway to the weekend and I'm listening to Phantom of the Opera, could it get any better? Maybe if there was chocolate... Easter came on Sunday and I had a lovely time. My mom came in to visit and we went to church where we listened to our wonderful Pastor preach a great sermon dissecting John 3:16.

One of my best friends also texted me last night with a forward from his mom and his grandmother's surprise birthday. It was so sweet! In the text his mom had send she said she wished I could come because GG loves me. So guess who is going to surprise little miss GG for her 75th birthday? Me! I'm excited about it, I haven't seen her in ages!

I am going to a new fitness class tonight. It looks intense! It's called Buti and I think I might pass out, but I want to give it a try! I have been working my butt off (literally) at boot camp, and I am so proud of the results! I'm still nervous to try on smaller sizes for fear that they wont fit yet, but I feel so much better!

I reread Redeeming Love yesterday. It is so AMAZING. Michael is quite possibly one of the best male characters I have ever read about. He is just dreamy! If you haven't read it yet you MUST get it immediately. It's just awesome. Today I am starting The Maze Runner. I've heard good things about it so we shall see how it is. I got it at Half Price Books for $5.00! That is even cheaper than buying it on my Nook! Along with Gabriel Brothers I have to say it's one of my favorite stores. I could spend hours in there! I just love the smell of books.

I want to spend all day outside today. Sitting on a blanket, reading a book and taking naps. Someone make it happen. K? Thanks :)

Good Friday Thoughts

Easter is Sunday and once again we are bombarded with cute little chicks, dyed eggs, visits from the "Easter Bunny" and chocolate. So many people celebrate Easter with these things, even Christians, but many of us forget the true meaning. I don't believe it is wrong to celebrate Easter with a chocolate bunny, I love chocolate and I love bunnies, but I hate that I am guilty of getting wrapped in these things rather than focusing on what it's really all about.

I find myself getting excited about tomorrow being Good Friday, but rather than being excited because it is the day my sins were payed for I get excited about the fact I only have to work a half day. This saddens me! Good Friday is the day that Jesus went to the cross so that I could be called a child of God, not a holiday from work. How many years have I let Good Friday pass me by without even thinking about the fact that it is one of the most important days in history?

I so often forget the sacrifice that was made for me. It's so easy to get caught up in every day life and be completely oblivious to how many times a day I mess up. My pastor pointed out that in the Old Testament alone there were over 600 laws set forth by God to be followed 100%. No one comes close to following every one of these things, regardless of how many good deeds, positive thoughts and holy actions they complete. No one. There was absolutely no way for us to enter into God's Kingdom until Jesus came. Jesus was always the plan, as my pastor also said "Jesus was plan A." From the beginning God knew that Jesus would be the path to him. How do I forget these things?! Good Friday is the ultimate fulfillment of God's plan to reconcile us to Him. It is the ultimate display of love and the day that took me from the gates of Hell to the kingdom of Heaven.

I often worry that I don't shine the light of Christ, I wonder if those around me know I am a Christian or if they just think I'm a good person. Do they even think I am a good person? Why is God's love not radiating from me? The sacrifice shown from the events of that Friday so long ago should be more than enough to keep a permanent smile of my face and let every word I speak be one of praise. Yet I fall short daily. More than daily, hourly, possibly every minute. Thank God for Jesus because He made the way for me to still be redeemed even though I am constantly failing God. God desires for me to be better, but He loves me despite my shortcomings, despite the fact that I am constantly failing at being who He deserves me to be.

I want to remember the real meaning of Easter, the true beauty of Good Friday and the sacrifice that was made. Calling it Good Friday always seemed so odd to me because it was the day that Jesus was tortured, the day that He died a painful death despite His being perfect. That didn't seem good. But it is good! He did it because He loves us, to bring us to Him. And if that isn't GOOD then I don't know what is!

Moving Forward

     I had an amazing time last night. I went on a girl date with my friend Heather to a sushi restaurant, froyo and then to Cirque Ziva. It was so much fun! I laughed like I haven't in so long. Amidst all the changes occurring in my life right now I am staying positive and trying to enjoy life as much as I possibly can and last night was just what the dr. ordered. I'm adjusting to life on my own, learning how to be the person I want to be. There have been some negatives that have come from all of these life changes, most hurtful is the amount of judgement I feel from some of those around me that are supposed to be loving and supportive of me. I am separating from my husband, this is something I have been reluctant to share, but there is no reason to hide from the truth anymore. I realize this is something that is hotly debated among Christians and it breaks my heart to be going through it. I have struggled for a long time fighting an internal battle with my convictions of faith and the brutal truth that my marriage was not healthy. There is some debate on the meaning of this passage, and I feel sure that many will disagree with me, but ultimately it has helped give me peace with my decision.

Exodus 21:7-11:

 ⁷ “If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as male servants do. ⁸ If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself,^[b] he must let her be redeemed. He has no right to sell her to foreigners, because he has broken faith with her. ⁹ If he selects her for his son, he must grant her the rights of a daughter. ¹⁰ If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. ¹¹ If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money.

     Some argue that in the context of the culture in which this verse was written it was commonly accepted that any marital rights afforded to a slave must also be afforded to a free woman. It also is assumed that these truths hold their validity even in the case of a singular marriage rather than a man marrying another woman. Many argue that the term "marital rights" refer to sexual relations, however other scholars argue this term encompasses much more including love, trust, etc. My marriage was lacking in a number of categories that could be considered marital rights and it was extremely damaging. I know that many will question my decision, others will outright disagree, but in my heart I believe that this is the right decision. God has given me peace, I feel His love and compassion surrounding me. Because I have this peace I have found it is very hurtful to experience some of the comments coming from those around me who in the past have been vital supports and springs of spiritual guidance. I feel as though my faith has been questioned, my integrity has come under attack, I've even been told outright that I have no reason to do this. I feel so judged and abandoned, pushed away and in the end it has caused me to withdraw from something I once held dear. I find myself angry and wanting to push back with negativity and judgemental words of my own. As I heard on the radio the other day (paraphrased) "sometimes things come out of my mouth before they have had a chance to be sanctified." I heard a verse yesterday that opened my eyes, it showed me a harsh reality and reminded me that just because I feel as though I have been mistreated and judged I have no right to turn around and do the same.

Romans 14:10-12

So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit. Read it for yourself in Scripture: “As I live and breathe,” God says, “every knee will bow before me; Every tongue will tell the honest truth that I and only I am God.” So tend to your knitting. You’ve got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.

 

Ouch. This verse really slapped me across the face. Not only do I spend a lot of time unfairly judging those I feel are judging me but I also unfairly judge those around me. Even when I feel justified in judging (for example when I myself am being judged) it is not ok. I have to turn my hurt over feeling as though I have been mistreated over to God, I have to forgive and move on, and I have to remember that only God has the final say in anything, the words of others do not make or break me.

Fashion!

I love clothes. Like a whole lot. I love to look at clothing, dream about buying it, and occasionally splurge on a clearance rack item. I have recently become obsessed with clothing that is more off beat than fashionable, )think Zooey Deschanel) and I'm not really sure when this happened. In college and high school I was a strict jeans and t-shirt gal, if I dressed up it was for a special occasion. Now I reserve t-shirts for working out, what a change!

• I love this dress. The color is amazing, I love the waist and the neckline is really unique. It comes in soooo many colors too! It's from modcloth, my favorite window shopping website!

• This dress would be absolutely adorable with a black shrug sweater or a lace tank underneath it to give it more modesty. I love the cut and the print, it's reminds me of mint chocolate chip!

  
• I love that this dress is more modest. The length may be a bit short but it has everything a girl could ask for: a bow, flare, and a cute collar!

• This dress reminds me so much of something that they would have worn in the movie "The Help." I looooooove it! And if you think the front is cute just wait till you see the back....

             Don't you love it?

• This dress would be so cute to wear to the office. It's casual enough to not be overdressed but still cute. I love the cutouts at the top, and the color is definitely unique.

• This is one of the most unique dresses I've ever seen. I think it would be great because the chevron pattern should make anyone look thinner (in theory). I think it's really cute and I love the color. So far all of these dresses have been from modcloth. I could spend hours on that site!

• This dress is from Target and I love it! I also love that Target is really reasonable (if I'm in the mood to really splurge). I think horizontal stripes are generally not flattering, but this is one of those dresses that might look nice because of the color blocks and the design on the bust.

• This is also from Targe and I think it is adorable. I love things with tons of colors in them, it gives so many options for shoes and jewelry. I think this would be really sweet, a great dress for a date or church. 

Things I dont want to live without...

It has recently come to my attention that there are some things that I absolutely rely on pretty much every day. Some of them I technically could live without, but I'd really rather not have to!

• I love Covergirl's Lashblast mascara. Mascara is one of those things that everyone has a preference on so this may not be a good fit for everyone, but I love it! Two coats of this and I look like I have luscious lashes, not the drab, blonde ones I have with nothing on them.

• This is the BEST eyeliner I have ever had. Ever. It goes on smooth, lasts all day and night, makes perfect cat eyes and can be thick or smooth depending on your preference. I have only found it twice in Avon's catalog and every time I see it I stock up!

• I love my iPad. I can watch Netflix, journal, search Pinterest, read books, Facebook, surf the web and play games! It is probably my favorite piece of technology I have ever owned. No lie.
• Three letters. D. V. R. Who doesn't love recording their favorite shows and being able to watch them whenever they want?! This is perfect for me because I am so busy at nights with boot camp that I am never home to watch anything. Plus you can skip commercials. Win-Win for me!

• Audio books. I adore reading, it's one of my favorite things to do. But how am I supposed to read if I'm driving? Or cleaning? Or cooking? AUDIO BOOKS! I love to listen in my car, it makes my daily commute enjoyable, and it's so nice to feel pampered. It's like they are reading the books just for me! Audio books are ridiculously priced in my opinion, but I can understand why, it must be tiring to read an entire book out loud. I have found an amazing way around this though...the library! Our library has an impressive selection of audio books, Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, The Notebook, even the Left Behind series! You can't beat that!



• I love chapstick. My favorite is Avon's cherry chapstick and when I buy it's in BULK. This is because I have only managed to ever finish approximately 5 chapsticks my entire life without losing them so I have to have at least 10 scattered around to keep my lips moisturized. I think they made the second picture just for me...

 

• I don't want to live without Tim Tebow in the NFL. I think he is such a shining light and regardless of the polarization he can cause I admire him. I'd be completely content if the Bengals decided to trade for him...just saying.

• There are so many things I don't want to live without. Most of them are silly, but there is one that I most definitely cannot live without. I often forget how much I need God, how much of a sacrifice was made for me. It's easy to get caught up in the "I'm a good person" cycle and compare myself to others I wrongfully judge for being "worse" than me. But the truth is we are all sinners, all unworthy, and it's only by the grace of God that we are saved.



Wish List!

I had a job interview this week and if all goes well I hopefully will be getting a raise! Of course that's only going to happen if I get the job, but in the hopes of self-fulfilling prophecy I'm going to compile a wish list for what I would do with my raise!

• Naturally I'm going to put my money to responsible use and start paying more towards the car payment I took on earlier this year.

• Clearly I am also going to be putting money towards my student loans. I'd like to have that paid off before I'm 40...

• I really want a nice camera. I'd love to be able to take some nice pictures on something other than my phone!

I got adobe photshop two years ago for Christmas but my mac (aka my baby) is 5 years old and not able to handle it thanks to all the faithful years of college homework. So in order for me to fully enjoy the camera that I want I also need a new computer so I can edit my gorgeous pictures I will be taking!

• My other baby (iPhone 4) is on it's last leg. It's about 2 1/2 years old and getting progressively more and more stubborn when I want it to work.

 

It's fun to think about what I would do if I were blessed with this promotion, but in all honesty I'm just trying to stay positive amidst my nerves! I want the job, it's actually the entry level position I've been seeking for 3 years, so the nervousness about wanting to hear a yes is crazy! But even if I don't get the pomotion I want to stay positive and remember that I'm still blessed to have the position I have right now :)

Books!

I am an avid reader. It is one of my favorite things to do, I get lost in fantasy worlds, laugh, cry, feel joy and sorrow with my fictional friends. I have decided to do posts when I finish a book (or in this case just want to talk about) just for fun :)

• Plot: This is a (loose) retelling of the book Hosea. The main storyline is about a man named Michael who has an extremely strong faith in God. He sees a woman, Angel, in town while selling produce and feels God telling him that she is the woman he is to marry. Angel is a prostitute thanks to a disturbed childhood and unfortunate circumstances. She is skeptical of Michael but in the end he is able to bring her to his home and try to start a life together. She is hardened by a life of abuse from men and is skeptical of Michaels intentions, she runs away multiple times and Michael persues her. This is a wonderful love story and an excellent example of God's love for us. No matter how many times we run from Him he still seeks us.
• Love: This is most definitely a love story. Michael is an amazing male character that will make your heart swoon and watching their story unfold is beautiful.
• Action: There isn't really any "action" in this book. There is drama but no explosions etc.
• Faith: This book is heavily laced with faith. It is a feel good read that leaves you feeling happy and fulfilled. God is present throughout the book.
• Stars: ★★★★★ I couldn't put this book down. I was up until 4 am reading it!

• Plot: This is the first book in a series about a mismatch of women who meet at a prayer conference and are put together in a small group. The main character is a Christian woman who has never really understood grace. In her mind she's always been a "good person" so she in some ways takes her salvation for granted. At the prayer conference the small group experiences an emergency with one of their members they decide to keep the group going beyond the conference. The main character experience a horrendous tragedy and begins to realize that she is just a "sinner saved by grace." The group rallies around her and they all begin to grow in their faith. The series continues on with multiple books, each one wonderful in their own way.
• Love: This isn't a romantic love story by any means but it is a story about love. Sisterly love, husbandly love, and most importantly God's love.
• Action: There is perhaps a little "action" in this book but not manly action.
• Faith: This book is an excellent read for those of us who have been Christians since we were young, as well as a great read for people new in faith because it has such a wide array of characters. Each one is different with different backgrounds, different levels of maturity, and different ways of worship.
• Stars: ★★★★ I love this series. My only problem was that it ended!

• Plot: Ummmm duh. If you haven't read this book you haven't lived, therefore everyone should already know the plot. Since that's the case I'm just going to give a bit of a refresher. This series is written from the point of view of Katniss Everdeen. The hunger games are a sadistic ploy by a controlling Capitol to remind the districts under it's rule that they are all powerful. The first book focuses on Katniss volunteering for her sister who is chosen as one of the 24 tributes age 12-18 for the Hunger Games. The book follows her journey to the Capitol, her time in the arena and her time with Peeta aka the boy with the bread. It's wonderful. Go read it...again.
• Love: This book has a definite love triangle between Katniss, Gale and Peeta. Katniss is conflicted with her feelings for both of them and in some ways uses romance with Peeta in the arena to garner favor with Capitol residents. We see her feelings develop from survival to genuine (although confusing) and we are left cheering her and Peeta on.
• Action: This book is so full of action it will keep your head spinning! Twists and turns, fight sequences and intense mental turmoil keeps you reading.
• Faith: This book does not have any aspects of faith and does have violence in it, but there is no overt nastiness other than some graphic descriptions.
• Stars: ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ Ok that may be a little too many stars, but I seriously love this entire series. Seriously.

• Plot: I have loved this book since I was in 5th grade when it was introduced to me in school. It is about a boy and his coon hunting dogs which he saves every penny he has until he is able to afford them. The book covers his journey through training the dogs, hunting with the dogs, entering them in contests and ultimately how they save his life. It is a sweet story with an ending that makes me cry every single time.
• Love: The only love in this book is the love between a boy and his dogs. No romantic love at all but it is a sweet story of a special bond.
• Action: There is a little action in this book towards the end and littered throughout the book are small sequences during hunts that could be considere "action."
• Faith: This book does not have any aspects of faith in it but there is very little violence and is a clean read.
• Stars: ★★★★ This book makes me smile, cry, laugh and cherish my puppy dogs. I've read it multiple times and I still enjoy it every time I pick it up.

• Plot: This book is set in a dystopian society in which people are divided into 5 factions. Tris is the main character who at the age of 16 chooses to change factions rather than stay with the one her family is in. The book follows her initiation into the faction, her blossoming love with a boy nicknamed "four" and her efforts to hide a secret that could end up killing her. This is the first book in a trilogy, only the first two have been released and I am anxiously awaiting the third!
• Love: There is a love story in this book that feels forbidden but is also sweet. Tris falls for Four who is a teacher figure (they are very close in age, no creeper) and their love blossoms through her initiation process.
• Action: This book has plenty of action because the faction Tris chooses is the fearless faction. Lots of sequences in which there are fearless stunts performed.
• Faith: This book does not have any aspects of faith in it but it is a clean read and with only a little violence.
• Stars: ★★★★ I really enjoyed this book. It is very reminiscent of The Hunger Games type setting and is a very interesting read.

• Plot: This is the first Jennifer Weiner book I read and it was the beginning of an addiction. She has become one of my favorite authors and I would recommend any of her books! This book follows four women, one a plump chef, one a beautiful pro basketball players wife, an event planner and a former movie star hiding from her past. All the women are in the midst of raising children and finding out things about their lives. It's a great read!
• Love: Obviously the most overwhelming love in this book is for the babies. There are moments of sweetness between the wives and husbands as well.
• Action: It's Chick-Lit, there is no "action."
• Faith: This book does not have any aspects of Christian faith but it's not a lude book.
• Stars: ★★★ I love this author and this book is wonderful! I've read it multiple times and it's so good!

Celebrity Crushes!

So I'm totally nerding out today and have decided to share with you my fictional boyfriends. Yes I'm a 25 year old not a tween, yes I realize this is delusional, and yes I know it's ridiculous. Do I care? Not one bit! Sometimes in life ya just gotta be a little silly!

• My first celebrity boyfriend is Derek Morgan. Don't be jealous ladies! If I ever need to be rescued by an FBI agent please let it be him.

• Five words: The. Boy. With. The. Bread. Peeta Mellark (aka Josh Hutcherson) is a definite boyfriend of mine. Real or Not Real? Who cares?

• Nick Miller. He is grumpy. He is ridiculous. He is adorably loveable.

• Jase Robertson. He may be married but he can still be a fictional boyfriend (even though he's a real person). I think he has the best sense of humor, I crack up listening to the things that come out of his mouth.

I'm sure I have many other fictional boyfriends, but these are definitely my top four. I have fan-girl crushes on them, definitely geeky! P.S. Isn't it supposed to be Spring? Why is it snowing outside?!

My First Post!

I'm so excited to start my blog! Even in no one ever reads it I think this will be a great way to document my life. There are some big changes happening in my life right now, it's exciting, scary, and a definite roller coaster of emotions. Rather than go into all the gory details (at least until I have some things figured out) I am going to share some random thoughts.

• It depresses me immensely that when I look at my Barnes and Noble account to buy new Nook books I find nothing but smut in the best sellers lists. What happened to books that don't center around torrid affairs?

• I am ready for better weather. I bought some ADORABLE dresses (in smaller sizes I might add) and I am dying to wear them. I love dresses!

• I have started a couch to 5K program with the intention of doing to color run. It looks like so much fun and I think it is going to be perfect motivation to actually do something I've dreamed of for so long but never actually done.

• This is mine. I ordered it today and it will be coming to my home very soon. I cannot even begin to tell you how stinking excited I am about it. I have been wanting this bag for years and I finally broke down. O Coach, you know my weakness!

• This is my friend Leo. He is my favorite Owl I own, and that's saying something because I have TONS. Isn't he just the cutest thing?

• My parents are super busy right now with working in Springfield so I don't get to see them all that often. Mom is staying with me right now to help me transition with the changes going on and it is such a blessing. I adore them, they are the best parents I could ever imagine. I miss seeing them more often!

• I have the best Sunday School class. We have such great discussions, wonderful people, and I have learned so much. I never thought I would find a class that fit me, I tried a couple different ones but nothing really seemed to be a good match for me. God truly answered a prayer when he brought this class to fruition.

• I have been doing a lot of thinking and research on the food that I am eating. It is incredibly disturbing to see how bad we are treating the planet, all the disgusting chemicals in our food, and the horrendous way they treat animals. I have been attempting to live a mostly vegan lifestyle for a couple of weeks now, it's been pretty difficult though. I love my chocolate and cheese, and I especially enjoy some meat every now and then. It's been an adventure, but so far I feel good about it.

• I love these shoes. Love them. Unfortunately I have never been able to wear heels without tripping or being miserable. Someday...

• These shoes I may be able to wear. Not as cute as the ones with the major heel, but these look much more manageable. Be jealous that I can wear childrens shoes, cause that's what these are!

• I am loving the Peter Pan collar right now. I think it is adorable. I definitely want to try it out and see if it looks as good on me as it does on other people.

I should probably end it there, my thoughts are getting progressively more random and pretty soon people are going to start wondering how my brain works since it jumps from subject to subject! I am definitely ADD when it comes to my line of thoughts :)